Dreadful feeling

Do you ever get a feeling that something huge is about to happen?  Something life changing?  And with the feeling all you feel is dark and dreadful?
I had this feeling last night.  I wasn't feeling very good yesterday, having an off day, and last night when I went to bed I just got hit with something.  A horrible feeling, that I couldn't shake.  Something felt very off.  The thing that kept popping into my mind was it had something to do with me.  So, I then I started going through everything that could be wrong with me.  Maybe I have skin cancer, or maybe I have a tumor, or maybe ovarian cancer, or maybe ............ These thoughts just kept going through my mind.  Needless to say, I didn't sleep last night.  And I am really hoping that this was something just in my mind. 
Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.  It helps to write about these things.

Cont. from previous post

As I have been thinking about the previous post, I realized I sound pretty negative towards myself.  So, here are some positives that I have of myself, which I think would make me a great trainer/dietician:

• I have many people telling me in person and on facebook that I inspire them
• I have many people always asking me for workout routines, my opinion on different workouts, healthy recipe ideas, meal plans, etc.
• I believe that people respect me and my opinions
• People trust me

I think these are good qualities in a personal trainer.  I enjoy that friends and family come to me for help, questions, etc.  I like that they want to know what I think.  So, if my friends and family think I will do a great job, who's to say that others will think the same thing.  So, maybe I will get clients based off of these qualities, right? 

To be a personal trainer or not to be.....

This thought has been going through my head so much the past few weeks.  I really want to become one.  Helping others get healthy and meet goals would be an awesome and rewarding career.  So, why I am not sure I can do this?  Well, there are many reasons.  First of all, my lack of self-confidence in myself is a big one.  I keep asking myself, why would someone choose me over someone else to be there personal trainer and dietician?  Second, I don't have a personal trainers body.  I still have many issues to work on, and one might only be cured by surgery, and I don't plan on doing that any time soon, if ever.  Third, I let my anxieties take over me, and I don't dare enter a classroom at the moment.  I can do it online, but being able to actually learn in a gym and see all the different workouts to do in a gym would be awesome.  Fourth, I dislike gyms very much.  I get anxiety every time I step into one (which is very rare).  I don't like the thought that people are watching me, and could very well be judging me (part of the social anxiety that I suffer from.  It totally sucks thinking that people are judging and thinking mean thoughts of you all the time.  They probably don't, but I still think it).
I also have not been the healthiest eater these past couple of months.  I am an emotional eater, and whenever the weather is bad, all I want is sweets, and the weather has been glumy off and on lately.  So, how can I teach people to eat healthy, when I can't even get it under control myself? 
So, here is what I have decided to do.  I am going to be my own guinea pig.  I am going to learn how to overcome my emotional eating, and I am going to figure out what works best for me, and then when I do decide to become a personal trainer and dietician, I will be the best one I can be, and feel more confident about myself.  It will take A LOT of hard work, will power and determination.  I am sure I will experience downfalls along the way.  But this is something I need to do for myself. 
My 10 year high school reunion is in 3 months, and I need to look my best.  So, I have 3 months to transform my body and feel better about myself.  I am good about working out everday.  They are part of my daily routine.  Now I just need to focus on my eating.  If anyone out there has any tips on how to get over emotional eating please send them my way!  But do not tell me to start making crafts.  I am horrible at crafts, and they frustrate me, bringing on emotions, which leads me to eating. 
So, here I go on a journey that I feel I start too many times, and fail each time.  I will overcome my bad eating habits.  It just takes patience, and perseverence, and I got to keep thinking about the goals I want to accomplish by doing this! 
Encouragement along the way would be wonderful feedback for me!  :)
Thank you!

Song Challenge

Alright, so I am just going to finish up this song challenge because I think I should be on or close to day 30 by now.
Day 23: A song you want to play at your wedding: Forever and For Always-Shania Twain (that's our song)
Day 24: A song that you want to play at your funeral: I Will Remember You-Sarah McLachlin
Day 25: A song that makes you laugh: Stuck Like Glue-Sugarland (I love the music video to this song)
Day 26: A song that you can play on an instrument: I took piano lessons a long, long time ago.  At my last recital I played the theme song to The Young and the Restless.  Don't know if I can still play that song, but at one point I could!  :)
Day 27: A song that you wish you could play: Enter Sandman-Metallica; I have always wanted to play this song on the guitar, but I don't know how to play guitar.  When Guitar Hero:Metallica came out, I had to buy it.  So, I can play Enter Sandman on the Wii with the guitar!  :)
Day 28: A song that makes you feel guilty: F**kin Perfect-P!nk
Day 29: A song from your childhood: Achy Breaky Heart-Billy Ray Cyrus.  I loved this song when I was a kid.  Lol
Day 30: Your favorite song at this time last year: Hey Soul Sister-Train, and Young Forever-Jay-Z

Song Challenge

Wow!  I have a lot of days to catch up on!
Day 18- A song you wish you heard on the radio: I don't listen to the radio that often, so I don't have an answer to this question.
Day 19- A song from your favorite album: My favorite album at the moment is Glee, and my favorite song would be Loser Like Me
Day 20- A song you listen to when you're angry: One Step Closer-Linkin Park
Day 21- A song you listen to when you're happy- Raise Your Glass-P!nk
Day 22-A song you listen to when you're sad-Concrete Angel-Martina McBride; Bad Day-Fuel; Who You'd Be Today-Kenny Chesney; One of These Days-Tim McGraw

Whew!  I am now all caught up with my song challenge! 

Just like the old days

I had a great night last night!  I hung out with my roommates from college.  We try to get together as often as we can, but sometimes its not often enough!  We went to Jamba Juice and got smoothies, then went to Comedy Sportz Club in Provo, and got our laughs on!  It was great catching up with each other, forgetting our worries for one night and having fun! Just like the old days!
 During my second year of college my friend Heidi, who I've known since elementary school, and myself decided to move out of our parents home and into an apartment that was across the street from UVU, the college we were attending.  We moved into the Remington Apartments and met our roommate Linzee.  The three of us had so much fun together.  We got along so well.  They were the best roomies you could ever ask for.  We always had fun things going on in our apartment: late night Uno games, putting make up on our next door neighbor man, watching Three's Company on Nick at Nite at 3:00 in the morning, dressing up in the weirdest outfits and then taking pictures of them, singing karaoke, and having leg wrestling matches. 
I am so grateful to have these two wonderful people in my life!  And I am also grateful that we are able to still keep in touch. 
Heidi and Linzee have been wonderful friends to me, and I am very blessed to have them in my life!

Do you still keep in touch with your roommates?  Did you luck out like me and get awesome roommates, or do you have some horrifying roommate stories?  I would love to hear them!  :)
 Hope you all had a wonderful weekend and spent it with people you love!

Song Challenge Day 17

A song you hear often on the radio:
Born This Way-Lady Gaga